In Becky Bailey’s book, Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, she states that to discipline and to teach is the same act. The goal is to help parents teach their children how to behave, rather than controlling their children’s behavior. Teach your children to resolve their conflicts with the corrective discipline tools that you use; discipline tools then evolve into the interpersonal skills your children adopt.
Once you model self-control for your children, they will show better self-control as well. Conscious Discipline empowers adults with the Seven Powers for Self Control:
- The power of Perception: No one can make you angry without your permission.
- The power of Attention: What you focus on, you get more of.
- The power of Free Will: The only person you can make change is yourself.
- The power of Unity: Focus on connecting instead of trying to be special.
- The power of Love: See the best in one another.
- The power of Acceptance: This moment is as it is.
- The power of Intention: Conflict is an opportunity to teach.
From these Seven Powers emerge the Seven Basic Discipline Skills:
- Composure: Living the values you want your child to develop. Composure teaches integrity.
- Encouragement: Honoring children so that they will honor you. Encouragement teaches interdependence.
- Assertiveness: Saying no and being heard. This teaches respect.
- Choices: Building self-esteem and willpower. Choices teach commitment.
- Positive Intent: Turing resistance into cooperation. This teaches cooperation.
- Empathy: Handling the fussing and the fits. Empathy teaches compassion.
- Consequences: Helping children learn from their mistakes. This teaches responsibility.
These skills help adults change how they respond to conflict and stay in control of themselves. As adults begin to change, so will their children.
For more information or if you have any questions, please comment below or email Ms. Pat: firstname.lastname@example.org. The next meeting of the CSM Parent Discovery series will be in May.